Growth is not linear (and other surface level reflections)
So, there's this guy on youtube called Dr. K.
You may know him, you may not - he's a therapist who would interview other content creators, they'd have a bit of a cry usually, and the video would get a tonne of views. His most recent one with pirate software feels like a bit of a masterclass in handling someone who's predisposed to being a bit oppositional in a conversation.
Anyways, he also made his own separate content. In one case, he mentioned how when working with addicts, he'd try to drill in that progress isn't always linear. Just because you've had a relapse doesn't mean you're doomed to spiral back towards rock bottom.
Lately, I've felt this a lot more personally, but in a different sense, because it goes the other way, too. I started university 3 years ago now, I grew a tiny bit in first year, a tiny bit more in second, but in the last semester of third year it feels like i've gone leaps and bounds.
and I think the difference was a lack of change?
See, during first and second year I basically just rotted in my bedroom, watching the same content creators, never going out, you get the deal.
During third year though, a couple of my flatmates turned out to be great friends. One was a drag queen - she dragged me out every month to her drag show because she needed someone to film. The other was just... a non-terminally-online trans woman, who helped restore my faith in the NHS. Sure whatever, that got me on the waiting list for NHS hormones but more importantly got me to actually take my insomnia seriously.
Then I changed up my content creators and my clothes and my diet and my life goals and- what I'm trying to say is without change, you don't grow. Change isn't linear, so neither is growth. It's probably good to seek out change every now and then, or you'll stagnate.
Try your best not to stagnate :)
Edit: Sidenote, if you're a friend I've linked this to and you haven't used bearblog b4, there's a little up arrow somewhere that's like the equivalent of a like or a reddit upvote