🌺 Friendship takes a minute.
I think a lot of the problem I('ve) had with regards to like, feelings of social inferiority is the fact that I've always expected friendship to be this instant thing. And If I left a show without talking to anyone, or left a uni society social without feeling like I made good friends, I would see it as a failure. But I don't think that's how friendships tend to go?
I think about the friends I had in secondary school. I was the weird kid, they were the smokers, they let me chill because they didn't want me to snitch and I wanted to chill because they didn't bully me. I didn't realise the implied blackmail into several months in😂. Over time, I got close to them. I was almost friends with the school dealer, even.
I think about my flatmates in first year... my flatmates in second year... in third year.
It's all the same shit, over and over.
Go to the event consistently. Be somewhat sociable - enough to seem relatively normal - and then after a few events, begin to unwind your weirdness. Turned out it was all much simpler than I thought.
Sidenote: This post was written yesterday. As was the one before that. I'm stuck in the loop of posting things one day behind. Someone send help